Except… nothing happened. “She’s gonna smash your kneecaps.” That’s a good reference, but I was actually imagining that Pauly D would take his stalker under his wing. Keep up with all the drama from your favorite shows, This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google, The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart, Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp, Jersey Shore Family Vacation Season-Finale Recap: The Snitchuation. There is literally no better way for us to describe that for you. he shouted at the girls. He probably didn’t have a girl in the car.” Pauly D just shook his head. Entertainment Weekly is a registered trademark of Meredith Corporation All Rights Reserved. The gang solves some mysteries, and Sammi and Ronnie get back together just in time to break up again. Zack asked Angelina, who answered, "Last week?" Email TooFab editors at tips@toofab.com. Uncle Situation is cranky. “I didn’t take anybody’s crocodile,” swore poor Ronald, who clearly is tired of being blamed for everything. Detective Jenni decided to investigate. She couldn't stop falling over and leaning on people. The ToiletGuys, there’s no getting around it: This was a literally a crappy episode. The interrogation was over. "He doesn't know what boundaries are. Angelina's eyes immediately bugged out of her head, later telling the camera that "his hands are big, so it was on my ass and my side.". The crew decides it’s time to help Pauly D to find true love. Mike walked in, went to the kitchen, made himself some food, looked douchey. Jersey Shore Family Vacation Recap: Night of the Living Jen. © Copyright 2020 Meredith Corporation. No no, Li’l Sitch, don’t feed those dogs pizza! (Except for Lassie. The boys were angry. It’s the immediate aftermath, when everyone tries to cheer you up by offering their profound opinion about your relationship. Average smush. Jersey Shore Recap: JWoww Almost Fights Ice Cream Man, Snooki Blacks Out at Strip Club . No no, Li’l Sitch, don’t break J-Woww’s horrible dogs out of their tiny prison! Finally, Li’l Sitch gets out of the hospital… and the first thing he does is return to the brick wall, thinking, “This time I’ll only use the back part of my head. At this point, The Situation and The Unit had a conversation that went like this: Unit: “Dude, Threena totally BLEEPED your brother.”, Situation: “She BLEEPED him? "I'm an open book, and I don't want it to be thrown in my face later on," Angelina said, before Jenni whispered to Deena, "She should also keep her mouth shut.". "Hi, honeys!" Jersey Shore recap: When Meatballs Attack, Jersey Shore recap: Snooki ditches Jionni, Jersey Shore recap: Jionni arrives, Jionni leaves, Jersey Shore recap: Snooki and Deena kiss, Jersey Shore recap: Ronnie fights The Situation, Jersey Shore recap: The Situation and Snooki, Jersey Shore season premiere recap: L'Avventura. Ronnie makes a friend, and Snooki's stuffed crocodile becomes a casualty of war. “We get it, maritime law, don’t take it, we get it, we hear you.”. This has been a quiet season for The Situation. Ron, of course, only wears Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-themed underpants. Tell ’em I didn’t do it.” J-Woww looked embarrassed. Angelina and Vinny spent the whole dinner basically gazing into each other's eyes, making the others feel as though they were crashing their date. He moves slowly. Without a hero, the show has become the story of a miserable villain who can’t even amuse himself with evil anymore. He looked over at Angelina and put his other arm around her. The plot is thickening! Red Team Go! That night, the gang decided to go out to their favorite ironically-named nightclub. They used to be semi-eloquent, energetic drunks; now, they often descend into half-nude incoherence, stumbling around aimlessly like a hobo in search of a shotgun. "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation" airs Thursdays at 8 p.m. on MTV. Vinny rechristened Mike “The Snitchuation,” which is impossible to spell but really rolls off the tongue. Viewers, no one hates Ron/Sam drama more than me, but at least it didn’t take very long for them to implode from the inside. “What’s your deal, girl? Would you hire any of the Shore cast as a private investigator? He cooked burgers with her. More Merry Melodies from Planet Shore-Lax. Oh, and also tell Jionni that me and Schookums did a smash-and-grab job behind his back. NEXT: Roger does the dip, which is not prison lingo for anythingEveryone came home and was surprised to discover that their house smelled like a bathroom. this link is to an external site that may or may not meet accessibility guidelines. –Snooki brought home a handsome “Mario Brother” whose name she couldn’t remember. After Angelina said they "had a little bit of a dry spell," Zack, again, wanted to know why. At the start of the episode, Sitch offered all sorts of romantic advice. Hello and welcome to another shocking recap of "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation.". NEXT PAGE: The Importance of Being J-Woww. “Arvin’s just my friend from home!” she proclaimed. Apparently, the Situation isn’t 45 years old…he’s 11 years old. Bark!” Chaos! Hello and welcome to another shocking recap of "Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. I want to feel badly for Ron, because my mother always told me that it’s wrong to make fun of crying douche-cadets who are sad. Roger, the dude with the sketchy facial hair who magically isn’t sketchy!” She beep-beeped her horn. But there’s no doubt that Deena, beneath her Blast in a Glass exterior, is feeling a bit awkward about her place in the house. Snooki smelled Mean Cuisine: “Tell me this doesn’t smell like Mike’s cologne.” Deena concurred: “Evidence!” I hope they do a spin-off of Jersey Shore where Snooki and Deena solve crimes, and the only thing Deena says on the show is “Evidence!” At just that moment, Li’l Sitch casually walked downstairs. So Ronnie and Sammi fled into the downstairs room. A little girl who could bite your head off.) “The master plan is going down!” exclaimed Li’l Sitch. Viewers, last night’s episode felt pretty bland. Last night, though, depressing cracks began to form in the picture-perfect J-Woww we’ve become accustomed to. ", Later, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro brought baby Ariana to see the group. Everyone else seems to be gilding their resumes for spin-off material. Deena was dancing on tables, Jenni couldn't keep her eyes open and Angelina had taken her loose hair and stuffed it into her boobs. When Jenni got wind of what was happening, JWoww came out to play. The other dog, “Juicebox,” opted to make a bathroom out of Vinny and Pauly’s L-block bachelor pad. Within seconds, Jenni was sitting on the floor, asleep with her head in between 24's legs. She counter-attacked. The toilet at work was clogged, too… Clogged with Ronnie’s tears! She searched, and she called his name: “Crocodilly? Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. This Is Me! What sort of mischief will he get up to? Come on, girl! But the biggest problem with the last two seasons has been J-Woww. –Vinny’s family seem like very nice people. Zack agreed, adding, "She's just being an idiot. Bang-Your-Girl Situation: The Bachelor. What with all the partying and the semi-incest, Jersey Shore kind of reminds me of the gonzo science-fiction series The Dancers at the End of Time, by Michael Moorcock. "Just because I have a nice house doesn't mean I was raised here, bitch!" A recap of Jersey Shore Family Vacation season two, episode five: ‘Frenemies’. Cue the arrival of Uncle Situation. he shouted excitedly into the phone. Jersey Shore recap: Snooki vs. Don't be a bitch!" As we saw in the … Honestly, he’s right. ... On Jersey Shore Season 7 Episode 14, Mike and Ronnie came to blows after more rumors started swirling. It is thou who art the shadiest! In her confessional, she was angry. Since two awkward people together form one beautiful whole, Ronnie decided to talk to her. “Hi, Vinny!” she said. NEXT: Vinny vs. Perhaps he can hop a train out to the Big Country in the west, where they say even a waxed ape-man can find a home.

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