The Nostalgia Critic: Hello, I am the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it, so you don't have to. However, realizing that the critics are not true of heart, he attempts to kill them before they can find the gauntlet. NC (VO): So he sends him back to his family via lightsaber sound effect. He points at Malachite and yells heart, effectively hurting the sorcerer. (Darla from Sam & Max: Freelance Police), Malcolm: Hey, wait a minute. He also appeared as the secondary antagonist of the Angry Video Game Nerd's video game Angry Video Game Nerd II: ASSimilation and a minor character in Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie. And they all leave to come across a familiar face. NC (vo): Well, pretty fucking confused, seeing how I can see you in the light, even though we clearly established I shouldn't. Another aspect for his hypocrisy comes from the fact that he criticizes Jingle All the Way for commercialism, but likes A Christmas Story, which is about a kid named Ralphie who wants to buy a Red Ryder rifle as a Christmas gift. However, Ma-Ti appears and interrupts his attempt to destroy the world of technology, ranting about how everyone has been a dick to him before trying one last time to do something. Depending on the setting, the Critic is given to over-the-top reactions, screaming at the top of his voice at movie plots that do not make sense or do not leave any explanation, or reacting with sarcasm., However, that wasn't the end of the Critic hearing about Mako, as in the, At the end of the same countdown, the Critic broke into Douchey McNitpick's house and proceeded to shoot him. NC (vo): Ghost Dad is a fascinating experiment to see if (pictures of Poitier and Cosby appear on the corners with "Director" and "Actor" under their pictures respectively) two successful people re-entering two unsuccessful fields can somehow produce a successful...not this. Malcolm: (Sam) That's better than her Max voice. It was critically panned and remains Poitier's last directorial effort. I mean, they just make no sense! This was all build up to the site's 4th anniversary film To Boldly Flee. ), NC: (After some silence) Because that's what a teenage boy talking to the parent of a girl he wants to get with would say... "Put the bitch on." (Cut to the trailer for White Noise and Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones.). Have you seen these videos yet? (Cut to the living room as NC douses himself in gasoline while Bill Cosby dialogue plays in the background. The Critic and Team A arrive at a house and finds a book, which when opened, released Jaffers, the creator of the game. Eventually, they do meet, and dance together. ...I gotta get out of this dream... NC (VO): That's right, he's not very funny in a movie on his own and desperately needs kids to work off of. ", the critic goes on a rant that progressively gets worse. (door closes and car revves). As an actress, I just decided to give up. You look like McGruff the Crime Bunny. Take your favorite fandoms with you and never miss a beat. (Elliot is now back in his body in the bed, looking up at Diane.). Tamara: (seething with anger) No, but he'll wish he was. Danny: Dad! This, of course, means he comes to a horrible realization. The Critic and Team A arrive at a house and finds a book, which when opened, released Jaffers, the creator of the game. In an embarrassing twist, the Critic admits he rented and willingly watched the movie, as well as pointing out it's part of his "job" to watch children's programing and criticize it at the age of 28 (at the time of the review). But if there's one thing death has taught me, it's that that's no reason to stop working! NC: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic, I remember it so you don't have to. NC (VO): Everything's all fine and good, but they have to hurry to get ready for this merger because they only have three days before he'll start to fade away. At the synched negative reviews between the past, present, and future, all of reality begins to tear itself apart. [2]. Why? Channel Awesome is a FANDOM TV Community. Crimes This episode also marks the first Nostalgia Critic to be presented in 16:9 widescreen format, which all episodes following have been (with the exception of The Good Son, which was filmed in December before the aspect ratio shift). And nobody, fucking NOBODY, would ever be able to relate with these choices! NC lights a lighter and then blows up.) We get a caption saying "Coming Soon. The death of Santa Christ inspires Film Brain to join the others, who gets Linkara to plan a strategy. The vocal intro from the Offspring's "All I Want", one of the songs in the game, is heard before transitioning into generic rock music. The Critic sent various slips of papers to his reviewers lying that they had won a free car. He even asks his viewers "Is it me or have I been dying a lot recently?" Chester A. Bum then also appears and is too lacking his beard, having removed it with spray-on cheese and rats (also claiming that's how he did his "bikini area") in an attempt to fit in with the other characters. (NC sighs and puts his head in his hand.) Whenever you feel bad about yourself, just be happy that you had nothing to do with the making of Ghost Dad. Which it is, though the Langoliers realize they were eating 2:35 instead of 2:30. (Elliot is sitting on a lamp, leaving NC confused.) The Critic also appears to have an airsoft Glock, so apparently the character has a near-obsessive amount of firearms in his posession. Douglas Darrien Walker Do they usually watch when a urine sample is done? It's distracting. Leading Team A, the Critic encounters various enemies, such as Cat, Chester A. Bum (as "The Voice of the Forest"), and Witch Warrior. Review and rid the world of all bad movies.Defeat the Angry Video Game Nerd and all of his enemies.Rule Kickassia.Marry Catherine Zeta-Jones.Find the Malachite's Hand and then both sell it and become rich (formerly). In particular, the Batman & Robin and Son of the Mask reviews made him go so insane he tried to kill himself many times and all sharp objects, even his tie, were confiscated from him. He has a strong, rather obsessive infatuation for Catherine Zeta-Jones, whose appearance in movies momentarily distracts him from the review, when he would express his desire to possess her. He is usually a short-tempered movie critic who reviews movies. This seemed to not bother the fans of the Nostalgia Critic since he is apparently a fast healer. Death is not some sort of weird personality trait, it's fucking death! Because this is what you think of when you think of a kids comedy. Even since the days of YouTube, The Nostalgia Critic's usual appearance is largely unchanged: During Commercial specials, his getup is a little different. I mean, if you told that scientist, or, hell, any scientist that you'll let him study you, if you donate said shit ton of money (a check is shown made out to Bill Cosby to the amount of SHIT TON OF MONEY, For Being Dead, signed by Rich Fuck is shown), I think they would fucking do it! All through this, the Critic fails to stay in character and accidentally continued to show his bare crotch due to his short skirt. After doing research, he discovered that the gauntlet indeed exists, though he continued to believe there was no magical properties in it and merely wants it as an object to make people pay to see. Mass murderTheftAssaultDestructionAbuseKidnappingAnimal crueltyChild abuse. Malachite arrives and kills most of the Obstacles (except for Cloak #1, who is revealed to be the Last Angry Geek) and dons the Power Glove, having full control over his magical powers once again. After a severe beating, the Critic is knocked out and everyone begins to fight over the role of President. Elliot: I'll give you $20 to stop! (Tamara and Malcolm come in dressed as Sam & Max.). The Nostalgia Critic gained even more fame when he launched a satirical attack on fellow web comedian The Nerd, which began due to the endless comparisons between the two critics. NC (VO): But it's okay, because this movie addresses the important issues that anyone would be addressing under such bizarre and disturbing circumstances. You listening? There's suspension of disbelief, then there's suspension of just not giving a shit! He is also shown to be somewhat mean-spirited at times since he has stated that fans of Happy Madison films shouldn't live. NC: Because, quite frankly, you should be ashamed of yourselves for letting me take advantage of you like that. NC (vo): Directed by Sidney Poitier... (picture of Sidney Poitier in In the Heat of the Night) Yes, that Sidney Poitier. Elliot Hopper: (on tape recorder) Okay, honeybun, that's enough for tonight. Diane: You forgot. Idiot Plot: The Nostalgia Critic points out that Elliot didn't have to go through all this nonsense to get life insurance, as any science company would have paid him a fortune to study him. Hagh! (Inside the waiting room, we zoom in on an old man who sees Elliot come in with his face covered up, wearing heavy sunglasses, a hat and an overcoat, startling the old man.). NC (VO): Wait a minute. Donnie puts the suit, cap, and tie back on and declares that The Nostalgia Critic has returned. All through this, the Critic fails to stay in character and accidentally continued to show his bare crotch due to his short skirt. Evil-doer During the next few weeks, Molossia, now Kickassia, begins to have financial problems, and the Critic does nothing but sit and watch Hogan Heroes while stealing Phelous's ideas. …just wanted to toss that in here. The Critic appears again several times throughout the game, serving as the mini-boss of the world's Hang Dong 97, Area 52 and Monster Madness.

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